What if Roger Goodell was BlackAugust 30, 2011


by: Claude Clayborne

What if Roger Goodell was black? Sure we could approach this from a funny perspective where he would wear flashy suits and abolish those disgusting team socks. A black Goodell would also allow defensive backs to play press coverage for 30 yards. While this would be entertaining for me on a personal level where the “Black Goodell” would look similar to Ice-T and his wife would wear a Barbie chain and fur jackets all the time. What I truly mean is the way he runs the NFL from a stiff perch with a corn on the cob locked in his ass.

Goodell has his hands firmly around the neck of the NFL in my opinion. The players can’t breathe because he’s is too hands on. Former commissioner, Paul Tagliabue, wasn’t the pseudo communist that Goodell has proven to be. I am not saying Tagliabue ran a loose ship, but when he was running the league it seemed the sole goal of the commissioner wasn’t to be the face of the league. Goodell seems thrust himself into every situation that presented itself directly in the public eye. Now if Goodell was black, I think he would not be consumed with personal battles with individual players such as Brandon Meriweather and James Harrison. It seems his newest target is Ndamukong Suh and to a lesser degree Terelle Pryor.

This “New NFL” with its emphasis on the moral standings of the “old guard” is growing more and more boring and ridiculous. Football, on any level, is entertainment plain and simple. Why is this important when theorizing if Goodell was Black or not? Quite frankly, the majority of the NFL is comprised of Black players. The player culture is vastly different from that of the governing body and Goodell always seems to let that rub him the wrong way. Look at touchdown celebrations, if the celebration does not berate the other team why is it an issue? Are touchdown celebrations not entertainment for the fans? I’m sure it is hard for any white man born in 1959 to understand a black male born between the late 1970’s to the late 1980’s. Thus, ending any need for touchdown celebrations or confetti for Chad Ochocinco in the commissioner’s mind. Goodell does not risk what the players risk day in and day out to make his living, so he needs to lighten up because is entertainment for the love of God, let the players have fun.

I totally respect the concussion issues that the NFL has been dealing in the last few seasons, but to handle it like Goodell has makes me sick at times. It’s football not golf Roger! Players are going to get hurt, deal with it. The focus should be on concussion prevention plain and simple. Anything else takes away from what football is…a modern day gladiator sport. Julius Caesar didn’t tell the gladiators they will be fined three slices of bread for the way they killed their opponents, because when you step into the arena as a player you understand the risks.

Enough of my ranting though, I’m losing my point. If Goodell was black, like my father he would deal with punishment as crimes in the household happened. If I got a bad report card, it was dealt with immediately and definitely before the minor offenses by one of my siblings. That being said, how in the hell do you not deal with Kenny Britt, who is a one man crime spree, before you uphold a bullshit suspension by the NCAA of Terelle Pryor? So a man deserves to get suspended five games as a professional player for trading college gear for tats before Mr. Britt is done burning down the entire Northeast portion of the USA? I don’t understand the logic sometimes. If Goodell was black, he for sure would have something to say to Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson for telling Cam Newton not to tattoo or pierce his body. Last time I checked, Newton owned his soul and could do what he wanted with it. I just hope Jerry Richardson asked the same of Jimmy Clausen last year. Richardson should be checked by Goodell ASAP, but then again they are a part of the “old guard\good ole boys” so I don’t expect too much.

I am not trying say anything racist or negative about Goodell, let’s be honest he has a job I could not do at this point in my life. However, the focus on micromanaging the league with an iron fist has to stop. I tweet often how weak the product on the field has become, since he took over. If Goodell was black, my basic point is the focus would be on the bottom line, which is putting a respectable product on the field and only dealing with major issues that merit the commissioner to get involved with. The desire of Goodell to criticize every little thing that happens is baffling, I think he spends much too much time involved in ultimately meaningless things. I feel a black NFL commissioner would never do such a thing because said black individual would be in tune with player culture, be respected more (sorry it’s true), and not have to micromanage the entire league. Thus leaving time to focus on things that matter like getting Oklahoma City and Birmingham NFL teams of their own. Also, getting rid of the stupid white ugly socks that the players have to wear.

Tweet me, argue me down, compliment my vast knowledge of Family Guy, College Football, and old school Chevys @6MagazineMiami.

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