Overs and Unders: Terrell OwensOctober 6, 2011
You either win or lose in Vegas. Well sometimes you push, and Terrell Owens is on the brink of getting pushed out the league, that’s if he hasn’t already been pushed out. He’s 37 years old coming back from a meniscus injury and a torn ACL. He recently spoke with Stephen A. Smith and said he would be at full strength and ready to play in a month. Since I’m a semi-pro gambler I thought we could do some Over/Unders on Mr. Terrell Eldorado Owens. Yeah, dogg his middle name is Eldorado.
Back by Week 8
I’ll definitely take the over on this one. He’s 37 and his production has been going down. Not to mention when he’s in the locker room his energy is like the pack of fat girls with the one skinny friend. Whatever chemistry there is, he’s going to kill it.
Playoff Team Picks Him Up
Look G, the last winning team T.O. played on was the Dallas Cowboys in 2007. Since then, he’s played for the Bengals and Bills who haven’t been to the playoffs since Jay-Z was wearing shiny suits. If he does play this year, it will not be a playoff contender.
Catch 35 Passes
Again, this is contingent on if he comes back and plays this season, which he will not. But just in case I’m wrong, he won’t get picked up until week 10 or so. He has to average about 6 catches a game. I think Cam’ron has a better chance of pulling Beyonce if you ask me.
Catch 5 touchdowns
See above.
Cry how 3 more times on his television show
His friend took a substantial amount of his money. His chances of returning to the NFL have been shredded. If he’s smart he’ll crazy seventeen more times, boost show ratings and hopefully pick up a 4th season. Mo’ crying, mo’ money. Take the over.
Retire in a month
Although it’s what he should do, he’s a professional athlete. Check that, a pro athlete with money issues. Pro athletes don’t like to give it up. Their reality virgins. They’ve been given damn near everything they want, and they’ve worked damn hard to be catered to. How do you expect someone who is built on confidence and belief to believe that their body has betrayed them? T.O. is going to drag this out longer than Brett Favre. Take the over.
That’s all I got,
Ricky Writer
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