I can honestly say I just do not like some college football programs for any other reason other than they exist. I cannot explain this “irrational hate” but it exists. I do not know where this 8th sense comes from but I feel it deep in my loins and I will share with you why you should hate these teams for no reason as I do. Let’s Go
Maryland
I don’t know what a Terp is and Maryland has always gotten on my nerves. I don’t like Ralf Friedgen not because he is fat, but because he is obese. On a serious note why does he continually get a pass being one of the worst coaches year in and year out? Maryland has not been relevant since the 1950’s and lameness of this program is a glaring reason why. Question? When I say Terp head does it offend you?
Toledo
Your nickname is the Rockets, what genius picked that name out, how original. It makes me want to go to the school more than I did yesterday. Furthermore, Toledo always looks like a high school team every time you see them play. I know Toledo is a big lacrosse school, but really an emphasis on a total university wide make-over is long overdue. If somebody knows who came up with Rockets please sent me their address. Thank you
Washington State
May I ask why you call yourself the Cougars and you don’t have a scantily clad 40 year old bomb shell as your logo? This in itself is unforgivable, but to also have Ryan Leaf on your resume means you should get the death penalty “just because”.
Iowa
The epitome of bad fashion as football goes and what is a Hawkeye any damn way? Seriously, Iowa does have great tradition; Haden Fry spawned the greatest coaching tree in college football history, so Iowa is not a total loss. However, if you look up Hawkeye on Wikipedia the definition is: the opposite of cool and swaggless. If my daughter in the year 2029 asked me to attend Iowa, I would punch her in the ribs with brass knuckles on, yes it’s that bad.
Rutgers
You started this college football phenomenon and you still suck. I think that burns deep enough, keep chopping wood losers!
Every Directional school in the Country
You are second fiddle to the big name schools in your state. At least have the balls to throw a “tech” or “State” even a last gasp “A&M” in your name please. (Kudos to the Louisiana schools for feeling me on this) This act of rebellion must be done regardless of the mission statement of the University or College, cool counts for something.
Baylor
I at least have a real reason for hating Baylor, it’s called nepotism my friends. Baylor is the “Ugly Girl” who should have never got called back after a nice seafood dinner, if you know what I mean. Baylor does and always will have high ranking members of the Texas legislature in its court. Therefore, prestigious alumni have been keeping the “Fugly Girl” popular long after she should have been deleted as a Facebook friend long ago. If I had my way Baylor would be an all girl’s school that offered Men’s Track any way. My apologies to their QB, Robert Griffin III, your are one bad mo fo.
Florida
You have made this list because you have kicked that much ass since about 1990. Nobody likes a team that wins more than they should, I respect this but loathe you at the same time. All you Gators a bums I tell you!!
Indiana
Just Because
Texas
BOOMER SOONER!!! And (see Indiana)
Purdue
(See Indiana)
UCLA
You are the classic college football underachiever you sit in the middle of one of the richest fields that grow young men to be college football stars, and you wear addidas ……. White addidas? Kill yourself slowly!!!
Virginia
I used to roll with the Cavs when the Moore brothers were doing their thing many moons ago. Two suggestions bring back the old school (Penn State’esque uniforms) and hang Cavman by a rusty wire.
Michigan State
The Spartans disgust me in every way for no apparent reason and I am ok with that.
Boise State
Am I the only blogger in the Milky Way that has the MOXY to call it how I see it? BSU = Wanabees! The blue turf thing gets on my nerves as well. Would you date a chick with blue hair? Moreover, would you take her seriously?
I have posted this article in good fun, honestly I don’t really like any of these teams listed, and I may have taken things too far at some points. This article is aimed at a good laugh and not a lame attempt for the “fugly girl” to add me on Facebook.
Here are my quick cuts and jukes from the past week’s football
College
Fiesta! Fiesta!
I calledBoise State heartless earlier this year for not making sure Lagerrette Blount got knocked out after striking one of their teammates. They rolled through a weak WAC conference. I was certain TCU was going to give them the business, but I was wrong because Boise State came to play and TCU was the team that backed down. The surprise of the evening was Boise State’s defense, which shut the prolific TCU offense down. Sidenote, Andy Dalton, TCU QB, has no arm strength at all. Did you see the ducks he was throwing on the deep out routes? Geesh. Either way, both teams were evenly matched and Boise State just fought harder point blank. Congrats Broncos, I hope you all have accepted my apology.
Uhh…the BORE – ange Bowl
Umm…Iowa beasted Georgia Tech. The game wasn’t as close as the score indicated. Is the Big Ten back? That’s 4-3 in bowl games this year with two BCS wins.
Iowa won the game, but what is up with fake field goal call my Kirk Ferentz? Where are all these coaches getting these balls of steel from. Bill Belichick opened the flood gates for weird ass calls when he pulled that shit in Indianapolis earlier this season. Jim Zorn’s wild ass call on Monday Night Football, Jim Caldwell, and most recently Kirk Ferentz’s crazy call have been many of odd decisions by coaches this season. Pretty soon we won’t have anymore punters and kickers the way these daredevils play.
GMAC = BCS?
LOL, last week I wrote about the Central Michigan vs. Troy game last weekend. I was given the business by several CMU fans. I refuse to make the same mistake again. CMU was ranked #25 and I said they were unranked. Neither team has any control over when the bowl game is played. I still think it’s stupid to have this game this late in the bowl season. The game wasn’t a good game, it was a good half. You guys can shoot me if you want to, but from beginning to end there were better bowl games this year. This game had the best half of the bowl season hands down. Thank you for your comments last week as well, you guys really made me feel hated like Colin Cowherd, who I look up too, so I was on my high horse thanks to you guys.
National Championship Game
Well damn football gods, did you really have to take Colt McCoy out of the game five plays in? What did he do to you guys? Either way the whole entire landscape of the game changed once he went out. You can’t argue that at all. I picked Texas to win, and if he stays in I think they do, but shoulda, coulda, woulda you know. Backup Texas QB, Garrett Gilbert, played well for the most part. He was deer in headlights the first couple of series, but once he realized Jordan Shipley was on the field, it was all good. McCoy got all the love this year, but imagine if he didn’t have Shipley to throw the ball to? I think Shipley is the Longhorn MVP this year, he certainly was for this game. The key plays in the game are Malcolm Williams dropping that touchdown pass which would have made it a 17 – 13 ball game. The next key play was the shovel pass pick six. If either of those two plays are in Texas’ favor the game is 17-13 at halftime with Texas getting the ball to start the second half.
I have no clue where Bama went in the 3rd qtr. I’m still looking for them right now. I won’t mention the Bama QB’s name, because he sucks that bad. Give some love to the Bama O-line, when you throw the ball 11 times, and win a national championship game, that means your running game cannot be touched. Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson got it in! Congrats to Bama, but deep down, you can’t feel totally good about this victory, because Texas didn’t have their best player. Granted you all knocked him out of the game on a clean hit, and injuries are apart of the game. But don’t you want to beat the Texas Longhorns? And all season long everyone and their unborn babies haven’t been able mention the Texas Longhorns without saying Colt McCoy.
NFL
The wildcard weekend was the rematch weekend. Three of the four games played were rematches, which I found pretty cool. Two out of the three of the teams that won last weekend, won this weekend.
Well a Jet is faster than a Bengal
The Jets flat out kicked the Bengals’ ass. Rex Ryan’s defense was “all the way turnt up”. Darrelle Revis continued his case for defensive player of the year (even though I don’t think postseason play should count, with his recent performance it’ll be hard to keep it out of the voters’ minds.) Mark Sanchez played virtually mistake free and his running game allowed him to not be in situations where he’d have to win the entire game.
Murder in Jerry Land
Speaking of flat out ass kickings. We’ll it wasn’t an ass kicking, someone died in Dallas. Not someone, but something or somethings. The Eagles died. Yep, they were put to death in Jerry Land. Is it Jerry Land or Jerry’s World? Has there been a consensus on what we’re going to call it yet? Either way outside of a long td strike from Mike Vick, the Eagles were extinct. The Eagles’ power was their offense and Dallas’ defense shut that down with ease. Tony Romo was flawless and Miles Austin showed out as always. Things were going so well in Dallas that Roy Williams showed up to the party as well and boy did Mr. Odessa cut a rug in Jerry Land/World. The Chargers are not the hottest team in football, it is the Cowboys.
Quote the Raven, “i dislike Patriots”
Umm…I’ve said this all year when it comes to the Patriots. “You Get What You Pay For” in several key areas of their ball club, the Pats went cheap and they got cheap performance. Most specifically they went cheap on defense, but in their defense’s defense when the offense is turning the ball over in their own territory several times it’s hard to win. The Ravens defense played like they should have been playing all year long. We can shoulda woulda coulda all day long in terms of Wes Welker being able to play but he wasn’t thus the Pats were in effective all game long with the Ravens rolling coverage to Randy Moss and Ben Watson dropping passes. On the other note their dynasty is not over, please stop with the nonsense. The Steelers didn’t make the playoffs this year, are they over?
Welcome to the conversation…We’re talking about nominations for the best games in history.
I was pissed all weekend long. I just wanted to watch some good football. All three previous playoff games were blowouts. Thank you Green Bay and Arizona for making this game interesting. The highest scoring game in NFL history interesting. Don’t blame Aaron Rodgers Packers fans, he played a great game and brought the team back. It was just a fluke play to be honest.
The defense made enough stops to get the team back even as well. It’s like guarding Lebron James, he’s going to get his points. I mean once both offenses got into their grooves, the 2000 Ravens or ‘85 Bears couldn’t have stopped either team. It is odd that the game ended on a defensive play, and I know for certain Neil Rackers is the happiest person in the state of Arizona right now. Kurt Warner threw four incompletions and five touchdown passes. I just thought I’d throw that fact out there.
Random ish….
So, Tommy Tuberville is the new man at Texas Tech. You don’t say. I hope you have something to say because I don’t. It feels like they went after the biggest name they could find at the time. Mike Leach’s system is totally different from what Tuberville is going to bring in. I wouldn’t say Tuberville has to win fast, because the administration has been dying to get rid of Leach so they’ll give Tuberville his due time to get his own players in Lubbock. The fans; however, will not give Tuberville his due time because they never wanted Leach gone in the first place. We’ll see how it plays out though.
Pete Carroll! Don’t do it. Seattle is on the fast track to becoming NFL purgatory between Cleveland and Oakland(Detroit is like Hell in Pluto). Too late. I feel like they are trapping you Pete, they are setting you up for failure. Who is they? I don’t know it sounds good. Either way, the defense is wretched in Seattle. I don’t know what they have done with Matt Hasslebeck. Mike Holmgren left the team better than he found it. Jim Mora was unfairly ousted too early. I mean they are giving Pete the money to go buy his own groceries to cook the dinner, per Bill Parcells. We’ll see if he manages his money well and buys good healthy organic foods or he wastes in on junk food. We’ll also see if he knows how to cook, because too much or too little salt and various spices on meals can completely ruin them. On a positive note, the defense is good and they play in a mediocre conference. The only way to go is up, right?
Umm…Iowa beasted Georgia Tech. The game wasn’t as close as the score indicated. Is the Big Ten back? That’s 4-3 in bowl games this year with two BCS wins.
Iowa won the game but what is up with fake field goal call my Kirk Ferentz? Where are all these coaches getting these balls of steel from. Bill Belichick opened the flood gates for weird ass calls when he pulled that shit in Indianapolis earlier this season. Jim Zorn’s wild ass call on Monday Night Football, Jim Caldwell, and most recently Kirk Ferentz’s crazy call have been many of odd decisions by coaches this season. Pretty soon we won’t have anymore punters and kickers the way these daredevils play.
GMAC = BCS?
Why was the GMAC bowl played the day before the National Championship game? It’s like going to see a movie you’ve been waiting a long time to see and the movie trailer is a live abortion video. You’ve paid your $9.25 for the movie ticket, you decided to splurge the $20 bucks at the concession for you and your lady friend since this is a big time flick, so walking out just because of a God-awful trailer isn’t going to make you leave. Your mood will be definitely killed though. This is how I felt last night watching Troy vs. Central Michigan. I mean it didn’t get good until about midway through the third quarter. That’s like a movie not getting good until you’ve already made it up in your mind that it sucks. I mean for all those that watched, couldn’t you tell? The announcers couldn’t stop talking about the game that they wished they’d be calling tomorrow.
I just don’t get it. Why play these games so late. You know good and well that the GMAC bowl was not going to contain any top 25 teams. So why is this game played so late. I mean is this the reason why we preserve our bowl system for these precious GMAC bowl games to played right before the biggest bowl game of the year? A game that literally no one cared about and that included the people announcing and the network showing it.
